(Barely) Surviving 2020
Sometimes I am just too depressed to even breathe. And it hurts. It just hurts. It hurts to live and be alive. It hurts to not know. It hurts to fit in nowhere. It hurts to watch the world fall apart. And let’s not pretend otherwise: our world is being absolutely destroyed. As someone who has been cognizant of the societal changes of the last thirty years, nothing comes close to what has occurred in this the Year of Fear, 2020. Never before has the psychological warfare of the powerful been so harmful, divisive and soul-crushing. Never before in my lifetime have the freedoms of speech, discourse, assembly, and religion been so utterly shat upon. We are dying out here. Not dying of any physical ailment, but dying of a poisoned mind, an all-consuming fear that suffocates both those who succumb to it and those who resist.
The face mask both is in practice and represents in metaphor the silencing of our collective voice, our ability to sing our truth, the implement of our new-borne forced anonymity, the constant reminder of this new existential threat, ready to kill anyone, anywhere. Do not breathe freely the life-giving air of Earth, citizens; breathe freely in your bedroom alone, if you must. Stay home, they said, and we said, sure, for how long? How nice it would be, not have to work, not have to see anyone, just sit at home and watch time pass. Nice to have a new excuse, sorry, I’m not going to come do that, I’m too afraid of the coronavirus. Just let fear win and never do anything ever again. We stayed home and gave our freedoms away, let our state and local governments trample all over our civil liberties in the name of safety and security. The Fearful welcomed it with open arms, an affirmation of their core belief that the world was horrible and dangerous and should be avoided at all costs. And now, on our great nation’s Independence Day, we’re told to accept this new reality, give these governments these new powers, and forget the freedoms we once had, and watch the fireworks on television. The new house arrest, the new curfew, the new dystopia. Just stay home and watch the box on your wall and let us tell you everything you need to be afraid of. The new doublespeak, the entirely irresponsible thing to do framed as responsible: stay home and let us take care of everything. You are not essential. Buy food online so you can stuff your face without even moving.
And now we die, with no end in sight, an abrupt and violent shift toward totalitarianism across the globe, in the year 2020, the worst year I’ve ever been a part of. Keep dying, friends; it’s all we can do in this moment. Die a million deaths to this new evil, let it utterly destroy you. Let its violence consume you and birth you anew. This is our darkest night; be ready when dawn comes.
