What If

Can you forgive yourself?

At the end of it all, when you boil your life down to its very essences, can you forgive yourself for everything you’re not, everything you didn’t do, all the struggles, all the things that feel insurmountable, all the things that feel like they’ll never get better, all the things that may never be?

That is the birth of acceptance.

That is when you truly become human.

When you stare yourself in the face and say, “This may never change.”

Can you let it be?

When it’s all too much, can you let the muddy waters settle and be still?

Can you accept that the world is not and could never be on your shoulders?

Can you accept that pain is the only thing that makes joy worth it?

Can you laugh at the cards life dealt you and refuse to play the game, and make your own?

What if this world isn’t what we thought it was?

What if this reality isn’t as firm and definite as we once thought? What if the rules can be bent and broken?

What if the only thing that matters is music? Or art, or literature, or nature, or a sunset?

What if it isn’t you who did anything wrong? What if you didn’t make yourself poor, or unhappy, or unfulfilled, or unkind? What if it’s exactly how it needs to be?

What if it’s perfect? What if you’re perfect?

What if there isn’t a single grain of sand out of place in the entire universe?

What if we have to go through this dark night of the soul, the dark night of the human race, the great forgetting, the apogee of Earth, to become the greatest planet there ever was, to be the great creators we were born to be, to spread to the stars and join the chorus of worlds, and return home?

What if it all has to be destroyed?

What if we are being purified? What if the universe won’t let us fail, because we never could?

What if being kind is enough? What if loving is enough?

What if you’re enough, just exactly how you are? What if you don’t need to lose weight, make more money, become more actualized, spend more time with your kids, fix your parents, end the war in [insert recent conflict here]?

What if there’s nothing you can do, that you never had control, never will have control, and never could have control?

What if we’re soft-fated beings with destinies to fulfill, but how we get there is up to us?

Can I be okay with myself today? Yeah, I think so.

It’s all good today.